Help

At 4 AM, I woke up to my oldest child screaming, “HELP!” I am jumpy when I get woken up gently. This startling experience switched my systems to combat mode. I popped up and charged towards the kids’ bedrooms upstairs.

All the lights were off. The bedroom doors were shut. Each kid sleeps with a white noise fan. I could hear all the fans running and no other sounds. A thought crept in as I got to the top of the stairs. Was that a dream? It sounded real.

I checked his room. He was still in the depths of sleep. Maybe it was a dream? Or maybe it was child 2. His voice is going through changes, so I could have misheard who needs me. I crept into his room. He was also fast asleep.

Maybe it was a dream? I went ahead and checked the other two kids. It certainly was not their voice I heard, but I checked anyway. They were completely asleep.

My heart was racing. I probably broke a sweat. The adrenaline was starting to fade. It was abundantly clear that I heard the voice in my dream. My physical reaction did not care about this new information. I had to deal with the aftermath of the flood of adrenaline. I even felt sadness from the long list of potential things that might have initiated a child to scream for help.

Sometimes, my experiences don’t match reality. Sometimes, my emotions don’t match the facts I am being presented with. Sometimes, no new information will change my mind. Nothing would have altered my need to check on the kids that morning, but sometimes, my deeply held beliefs deserve this examination.

What information would it take to change my mind? Are my emotions, while legitimately felt, accurately matching my experience? Do my feelings of the experience match my reality?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.